| About
two months ago I had the sneaking suspicion that there were
fleas in my house. Well, I guess what I really should say
is that I was pretty sure that there were fleas in my house.
But the odd part was, they only showed up once in a blue moon,
and it seemed that there was only one. It was as if he was
a world traveling flea who came back from exploring the jungles
of Africa and crashed at our place, only until the next day
when he headed back out on a quest to the Virgin Isles.
My first encounter with the flea was late one night while
I enjoyed a super-duper episode of Everybody Loves Raymond.
As I roared loudly at the hilarious banter, I suddenly noticed
that someone else had joined me on the couch. And not only
had he joined me, but he was sitting on my hand! I had never
before in my life actually seen a flea until that point and
as soon as I realized what it was (due to its quick jumps)
I quickly slapped my hands together, hoping to crush the sucker.
Now, I don’t know if many of you out there know this
but it is nigh impossible to kill a flea. Their skin is made
of an insanely tough material called “actrinophil”
that is so powerful, government scientists actually have started
breeding fleas in Washington DC and are skinning them in order
to build stronger tanks for the war in Iraq.
After reopening my hands, hoping to find a tiny flea with
“X”s over his eyes, the flea jumped out of my
hands as quick as a bullet and landed on the couch. I went
for it again, but to no avail. He was a quick little fucker
he was. That night, I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking
about that flea, and how many more there might be. I couldn’t
stop itching all night, even though nothing was on me and
I hadn’t even been bitten. It’s all in the mind.
For the next four months, there was no flea activity to speak
of. My sexy manfriend and I figured that it was just a one
time incident and the flea was dead and not coming back. Little
did we know, we were WRONG!
 My
handsome manfriend and I sat on the couch (yes, we’re
couch potatoes) one afternoon watching Indiana Jones and
the Last Crusade when all of a sudden he stood from the
couch screaming, “There it is! There’s the flea!”
He cupped his hands and flailed his arms, trying to catch
the menace. Successfully in his hands, my cute manfriend took
the flea outside and set him loose. He returned back inside
and we resumed our movie watching pleasure.
About four minutes later there was a tiny rapping at the front
door. I answered it and found that no one was there. “Crazy
neighborhood kids,” I said and sat back on the couch
just in time for the tank scene.
Suddenly, I noticed on top of the coffee table next to me,
tiny movement. As I looked closer, I saw that it was the flea,
but he was carrying a tiny suitcase with stickers from different
countries all over it! I was right! He WAS a traveling flea!
I stopped him and said, “Excuse me. I’m sorry.
We didn’t know that you were just staying here. We thought
you had just come in from the cat next door and wanted to
bite us. You can stay here as long and as often as you need
to.”
I can’t say for sure, but I believe a tiny little smile
came across his flea face, and then he walked out the door,
suitcase in tow.
My delicious manfriend and I named the flea Nabisco and he
stays with us whenever he’s back in town. |
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