|  Dustin: Dude! We watched another movie! Go us! I don't remember what it was now, though... I might need to reconsider how much over-the-counter cough syrup I've been taking.
DJ: I told you not to drink a whole bottle in one sitting... Allow me to refresh your alcohol-addled mind: We dug into an goofy old flick called Darkman. Want I should give a run down of the plot?
Dustin: Oh yes, I want, I want...
DJ: Darkman is director Sam Raimi's first "mainstream" movie effort after the good time, schlocky Evil Dead flicks and also a precursor to his big breakthrough, monster hit over a decade later with Spider-Man (and, of course, Spider-Man 2... and the upcoming Spider-Man 3... most likely to be followed by Spider-Man 4 and Spider-Man 5 and so one and so forth until the end of time).
Dustin: Okay, that's an important note: Sam Raimi directed Spider-Man. Not Martin Scorsese.
DJ: Anyhoo, shot in 1989 for maybe five dollars and fifty cents, Darkman is nowhere near as refined or slick as his latest superhero sagas. Liam Neeson (pre-Jedi Knight status), stars as scientist Peyton Westlake, who just so happens to be working on a "synthetic skin" for burn victims and the like just as his girlfriend, Julie Hastings (played by pre-Oscar Francis McDormand), is uncovering some unsavory business dealings that leads to Peyton's lab/home being trashed by some creepy bad guys. He gets seriously messed up and gory looking, resulting in some serious emotional problems and a serious need for that synthetic skin he'd been working on. The catch is that the skin bubbles up and disintegrates after 99 minutes... except in the dark. So, with that business, some serious physical and emotional scarring, and a healthy need for some serious revenge, Darkman is born.
Dustin: Liam Neeson is all about the angst in this. He's down with the rage.
DJ: It's funny seeing him REALLY go for it. It's a very, very over-the-top performance. Nothing refined or understated here.
Dustin: Right, it's all very physical, lots of straining, tortured movements. He coulda had a V8.
DJ: It's funny watching this almost 16 years later and seeing how much more "grown up" Raimi as a director is now. I mean, he still has fun, but this is definitely the Raimi of Evil Dead trying to play with the big boys with... mixed but still very entertaining results.
Dustin: Yeah, the whole movie has this weird effect to it... not literally anything on screen, but it's more of a feeling. I'd say it's like being familiar with driving western cars and then suddenly finding yourself driving around in some weird Soviet-era car. You're still driving a car, but it's very basic, and kind of... cheesy? And maybe some of the parts are missing. Also, Liam Neeson is sitting in the back seat screaming at you.
DJ: Yeah. Seriously, he's UNHINGED.
 Dustin: Liam Neeson as Darkman would have road rage issues, certainly.
DJ: I also forgot, before watching it again for this "Spoiler Warning," that Francis McDormand co-starred as the reporter/love interest/only female in the whole damn movie. It has some weird casting. Good actors really hamming it up.
Dustin: I really didn't know what to make of her in this. She was fine, just not much of anything good or bad.
DJ: It was more just strange that she was in it, you know? (Though I think she and Raimi have mutual friends in the Coen brothers.) And the main thug bad guy, Durant--Larry Drake, the actor who portrayed him, was, at the time, known for playing a kindly retarded man on the TV series LA Law. Not sure about the other villain, who wasn't as interesting, really (sorry, Colin Friels).
Dustin: Yeah, there wasn't a lot of room for character development in this. It stayed pretty close to action the whole time, which given the experience that Raimi had as a director at that point, makes sense. He was still more about having the camera do cool shit.
DJ: The timing and Danny Elfman score really made it seem like maybe the studio was hoping for a Tim Burton's Batman-type success, which came out the year before, but Darkman is clearly a "cult" flick from beginning to end. I know that many people would just see it as crap cheese. But I often find myself appreciating that kind of thing-- especially when it seems to be done on purpose. And Sam Raimi, especially the younger director, has "cheese" as an aesthetic.
Dustin: Uh, about the Danny Elfman score--and you knew I was going to comment on the score--it's interesting that you used it as an example of hoping for Batman-type success. The funny thing about the score is that IT IS THE BATMAN SCORE. It was only a year after Batman, and Elfman has done one or two projects in between (like the theme to The Simpsons and the score to Dick Tracy) and I swear to God, he must've woke up one morning, looked at his calendar and saw a note that said "Darkman score due today." At this point, he began to frantically tear around the house in a panic, having completely forgotten he was supposed to have composed this score, so he come across all his notes from Batman, and in a desperate fit of maybe-if-I-change-one-or-two-things-here-nobody-will-notice-it's-recycled, he "wrote" the Darkman score. It sounds almost exactly the same, right down to the orchestrations. I was so very disappointed. It made me mad. Okay, I'm done ranting now.
DJ: I've just always felt like Elfman's scores, especially back then, all sound A LOT alike. His musical scores are more varied now, but also more generic. The Darkman's score was very much a "poor man's" Batman. Whereas, Darkman was almost a poor man's "The Shadow." (Not the movie, but the character-- which makes sense since Raimi was apparently going to do a Shadow movie, couldn't get the rights or something, and did Darkman instead.)
Dustin: Oh, I'm not saying the material was bad... I'm just saying the material was a scotch-tape-covered version of Batman.
DJ: What about the movie itself? Sure it was goofy, but I really did like all the bad special effects (not knocking the people who worked on it-- just lack of money and technology), and the visual flourishes really amused me. Just the weird cuts and transitions, crazy backgrounds, and all that.
Dustin: The movie was enjoyable... but it's really hard to get over the whole Saturday afternoon syndrome. You know, that feeling of "Have I seen this on broadcast television? Oh, yeah, it was one one of the UHF stations a few Saturdays ago. After Beastmaster." That feeling on a movie is kind of like BO... you can mostly get around it, but on some subtle level it will affect your enjoyment.
DJ: It is that kind of movie, but so are the Evil Dead films we both love so much, too, you know? With the simple story and really broad performances, it seems to me like a kid filmmaker (Raimi was 29 at the time) trying to play grown up. It has the feel of a kid wearing his dad's clothes. Does that make any sense?
Dustin: Yes, absolutely. In a lot of ways there are echoes that it was a film made before its time-- not necessarily in terms of the technology available, but in terms of the fact that Raimi now could've made a much more complete picture out of it. That, and now Danny Elfman could steal his Spider-Man score to use in it as well.
DJ: Elfman's Spider-Man score SUCKED! I could get into a rant about all the really good superhero movies out now that completely lack in catchy or compelling superhero musical themes (I'm looking at you, too, Batman Begins and X-Men/X2, but I'll hold myself back.
Dustin: You know, I was just thinking... what do you think the film would be like if Tom Hanks played the Liam Neeson role?
DJ: What is it with you and Tom Hanks? Are you two related?
Dustin: This would've been right after Tuner and Hooch... he was arguably his peak of Tom Hanks Rage (THR™). It would've been a very different kind of movie.
DJ: Ha! Hanks RAGE! Actually, Bruce Campbell was Raimi's first choice for Darkman (naturally), but the studio didn't think he could handle such an "emotionally challenging" role.
Dustin: BUT... it of course led to one of the greatest film cameos of all time. Sadly, you have to be versed in the Raimi mythology to full appreciate it. Do we dare ruin it for the readers?
DJ: Hmmm... nah. It IS fun, though. Very appropriate.
Dustin: Of course, the column is called "Spoiler Warning," so what's in a name?
DJ: You have a point. And the flick is some 16 years old... do it! Spoil it!!!
 Dustin: Okay, so Liam Neeson's Darkman, having defeated the bad guys at the end of the film, knows he can't be with Francis McDormand's character anymore, so he runs off into the crowd, pulling on one of his 99-minute masks as he goes...
DJ: And, oddly, it's night as he does this, then the next cut, presumably just a few moments later, is day.
Dustin: ... She gives chase, leaving us with a sequence of her searching crowds, grabbing people that were wearing similar clothing to Darkman. She eventually is left standing confused and despondent, and as the last shot of the film come up, under a Liam Neeson voiceover, we see a screen crowded with people--in the middle of this, a figure turns around and meaningfully stares back toward the camera. And there, folks, is the almighty Bruce Campbell and his chin. Most excellent.
DJ: Such a young Bruce Campbell. Ah, the Bruce! Ahem... So, Darkman is a bizarre, cartoony, psychotic lil' movie. Would you recommend it to anyone? Like I did to you?
Dustin: Yes. People that enjoy 1) Sam Raimi films, 2) cultish, flawed superheroes, and 3) people that watch a lot of broadcast TV on Saturday afternoons. It was good stuff.
DJ: It's worth mentioning that, while it wasn't a big hit, it spawned a TV pilot and two direct-to-video sequels, Darkman 2: The Return of Durant and Darkman 3: Die Darkman Die! (which is one of the greatest titles ever). I've seen none of them and probably never will...
Dustin: That might be for the best.
DJ: But it was kinda fun watching the original after not seeing it for years. I give Darkman two out of four synthetic ears. (Though, maybe his rage out scenes with the firey backgrounds and tilting zooms maybe should add another half an ear... I dunno.)
Dustin: Bah! You spurn our new rating system?!? We have three categories on which we work now, remember?
DJ: I forgot... I took a swig of your cough syrup and got all buzzed.
Dustin: Initial Impact, Rewatchability/Timelessness, and oh, Casting. We never really decided on the third, actually. I just picked casting. Probably so I can have another chance to say "Liam Neeson."
DJ: Well, I say the Initial Impact, when I saw it on video when I was 14 or so would be 3 synthetic ears. Rewatchability/Timelessness... um... 1.5 (one viewing goes a long way). As for casting: 4 ears. Really good cast for such a B-movie. A solid overall score of 2.83333333 synthetic ears.
Dustin: So, my rating on this... Initial Impact: 4, Timelessness: 2, Casting: 5. That churns out a rating of... roughly 3.7 Bosheeks. Or ears.
DJ: Wait--is a four point or five point rating system?
Dustin: Whatever.
DJ: Darkman-- one crazy-ass flick!
Dustin: We're having one of those moments when we're done, and we don't know what else to say, aren't we?
DJ: I call one of those moments: The end of every single "Spoiler Warning."
Dustin: At least we're consistent. |
