Cousy Has Left The Building
 
There comes a time in every great man’s life where he needs to decide whether or not to hang them up. Skates, spikes, keyboards, whatever. It took my Dad 22 years to turn in his typewriter for the elusive golden toaster. Now I am facing that same decision. Citing reasons such as exhaustion and wanting to spend more time with my family, I feel that the 15 minutes a month I spend writing the Cheap Seats could be better used attending my wife’s hockey games, and finding a house out in the country. I will then have the time to write my autobiography titled Hot Dogs, Pucks, and Shaky Cheese . Following that, I plan to get a job in broadcasting or move into sports management, whichever is offered first.
 
A few fond farewells…
 
To all five of my fans: I enjoyed the feedback that you never sent to me each month. Your critiques made writing my next column that much easier.
 
To D.J. and Dustin: Thanks for dragging me kicking and screaming into the footnote . I realize that I may have hit one deadline in the 15 months on staff, but you let me keep writing and I am thankful for that. Please don’t replace me with younger, fresh out of college, degree-having yahoo. Just let the Cheap Seats sit out in the pasture for a while.
 
To my wife Liza: If she hadn’t decided that we should get married at center ice, then I never would have been able to write about our wedding on ice or our trip to Maui. Instead I could have bored my fans with another predictions article.
 
To the NHL: You better f’in get the CBA figured out and play some damn hockey in October. My retirement won’t be the same if I can’t watch my Blue Jackets during the winter.
 
To the Red Wings, Red Sox, and Wolverines: I HATE YOU!
 
To Michael Jordan, Mario Lemieux and Ricky Williams: What time are we teeing off in the morning? I’ll bring the beer! Ricky can bring the pot.
 
To the Wiener Watch: It was a short-lived venture that brought my ramblings to an entirely new audience. I had big plans for this. Maybe I can continue to write about the Dogs on a freelance basis, as I sure don’t want to give back the H2 that Dustin is giving me as a retirement present.
 
And so my new life will begin. My bronze bust will collect dust in the Footnote Hall of Fame, not to be seen by anyone, ever. I have the yellow jacket on over my Hawaiian shirt and kahki shorts. I bid adieu to all of you from the Cheapest Seat in the house.

~~~~~

Cousy Kane has been the footnote's resident sports guru since its inception.