Fourth and Inches
 
I had this dream last night. My friend and I -- we'll call him Guapo -- we're at somebody's apartment. Maybe it's his, I don't know. In the dream it's familiar, yet I've never seen it before. We're about to go to a football game... college I think, but in the meantime we're hanging out with five hookers. They are all in lingerie. Three of them I don't recognize, one is a girl I knew in high school, and the other is my neighbor.

Here's where it starts to get weird: We're not having sex. We're just drinking beer, hanging out, running around the place smearing peanut butter on the walls... you know, normal dream stuff. WE ARE NOT HAVING SEX. NONE. And in the dream, we're cool with it, me and Guapo. We just wanna go watch football.

At one point my wife shows up, and she and the hookers are rolling around on the bed tickling each other. Me and Guapo? Watching TV. What a fucking nightmare. I take that back -- just a nightmare. BECAUSE THERE WAS NO FUCKING GOING ON WHATSOEVER. Then without warning, everyone disappears and my nuts burst into flames. I offer no explanations.

~~~~~

Tadd Branum is.... ummm.... yeah. I got nothin'.