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King
for a Day
A few days ago, I found out that I did not win the NHL Fan
of the Year contest, in which I would be NHL Commissioner
of the Day. In lieu of this, I am self-appointing myself
as MLB commissioner of the day. What does this mean? I get
to change baseball anyway I want, and here is my plan:
1) Contraction
We really don’t need 30 teams. There are guys playing
in the majors that really shouldn’t be there, especially
pitchers. So let’s cut it down to 24 teams. The six
unlucky teams are:
Tampa Bay Devil Rays
Montreal Expos
Milwaukee Brewers
New York Mets
Oakland A’s
Pittsburgh Pirates
Tampa most likely should never have been born. The Brewers
are falling apart. The Expos may well be disbanded before
this article gets published. The A’s are struggling
financially, although have the best talent of the six teams.
The Pirates’ tradition and new stadium are not enough
to save them. And the Mets? Well, New York only deserves
one team.
2) Realignment
Getting rid of 6 teams’ means we need to figure out
new divisions. Each league should be pared down to two six-team
divisions. None of the teams will switch leagues, but some
teams will now be considered ‘west’. This looks
a lot like the way divisions were in the ‘80s.
AL
East
Boston
NY Yankees
Baltimore
Toronto
Cleveland
Detroit |
AL
West
Chicago Sox
Minnesota
Kansas City
Anaheim
Texas
Seattle |
NL
East
Philadelphia
Florida
Atlanta
Cincinnati
Chicago Cubs
St. Louis |
NL
West
Houston
Los Angeles
San Diego
San Francisco
Colorado
Arizona |
3)
Rules
This may end or shorten the careers of some players like
Edgar Martinez or Jason Giambi, but the designated hitter
must hit the highway. All pitchers must bat for themselves.
This will add depth to the benches (more pinch hitting)
and better managing.
Also
going away will be all interleague play. Yes, series between
the Sox and Cubs were great, but having them meet in the
World Series would be better. I feel the Series looses
something, when you can compare the way the teams played
during the regular season. I don’t think anyone
will miss the Twins-D’Backs series.
4) Playoffs
Let’s keep the Wildcard system. The two division
winners will play the top two teams that did not win their
division. So four teams from each league will go to the
playoffs. Throughout the playoffs, all the teams with
better regular season records will have home-field advantage.
Screw the All-Star Game!
5) Cap
We will keep a salary cap, as we have right now. But to
ensure that these mega-rich owners actually care about
their team, and want to see it succeed, there will also
be a salary minimum. If the owner doesn’t like it,
sell the team. If there is a $100 million salary cap,
then there should be a $40 million minimum.
6) Re-distribution
Ok, now the fun part. six teams gone, six teams worth
of players to re-distribute. Going on the previous seasons
standings, in reverse order, regardless of league, the
eligible players may get plucked one by one. They do not
get to become free agents if there is still years left
on their contract.
The top 10 teams to draft would be: Detroit, San Diego,
Cleveland, Cincinnati, Baltimore, Texas, Colorado, Anaheim,
Kansas City, Arizona.
So who does Detroit pick? Barry Zito? Do the Padres take
Tim Hudson? Does Cleveland want a stick like Chavez or
Piazza? Where do the likes of Rocco Baldelli, Jose
Vidro, Ben Sheets, Al Leiter, Tom Glavine, and Jason Kendall
end up?
End results: the league now becomes more competitive and
the Yankees still win the Series!
BONUS CHEAP SEATS
The NHL awards are going to be picked in June, and here
are my predictions:
Hart Trophy
Trying hard to avoid the playoff success of both, Martin
St. Louis beats out Jerome Iginla. St. Louis led the league
in scoring this year, and was more complete in leading
his Lightning to the Eastern Conference’s best record.
Norris Trophy
This should be close, but ill give the edge to Zdeno Chara.
He is young and ruthless, and adds a new name to the typical
defensemen up for this award.
Selke Trophy
John Madden is hands-down the best defensive forward in
the league.
Vezina Trophy
Wow, three stars who had outstanding seasons. If I were
voting, I would pick Luongo, though I think that Broduer
or Kiprusoff will get the nod.
Calder Trophy
Does anyone really care? My vote goes to Andrew Raycroft,
though I imagine the Canadien media will select Montreal’s
Michael Ryder.
Lady Byng Memorial
Gentlemanly conduct in hockey? Who wants to win this?
I’ll go with Brad Richards of Tampa Bay.
Jack Adams
All three of the candidates deserve this award for coach
of the year, Darryl Sutter, John Tortorella, and Ron Wilson.
But, with the way the Sharks came out of nowhere to finish
second in the West, I have to go with Wilson.
~~~~~
Cousy
Kane is a senior contributor for the
footnote. He also likes to make apple butter and various
jams in the autumn.
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