Snuggle No More
dustin grovemiller

Alas, poor dryer sheet, how ignoble a life you lead;
Ever giving man your very essence, with none to speak of your lot.
You give of your gossamer self to soften heat-worn thread,
And then cast away, brittle and tarnished, to drift in the uncaring wind.

Ode to My Shitty Spouting
fingers o'reilly

My house's spouting is for shit;
Against the roof it will not fit.
So when it starts to really rain,
The water won't go near the drain.

So instead it trickles unawares,
Down to the basement, by the stairs.
The rec room carpet was getting old,
But now I've got to replace it because of mold.

And now I've spent a weekend shouting,
All because of fucking spouting.