Spaceballs (1987)
More horseshit by Grovemiller and Kirkbride
 
Dustin: Picture it… the late 80s. The home video market was booming. A strapping young lad by the name of Dustin Grovemiller convinced his mother to let him rent a Mel Brooks movie called "Spaceballs," He would go on to watch it three times in two days.
 
DJ: Me, too! Almost EXACTLY the same... I begged and begged for your mom to rent it for me, but she told me to fuck off and bother my own Mom. Still! I rented it, loved it... even bought the novelization and loved that!
 
Dustin: It might have been the funniest thing I had ever seen at the time and to this day, it still remains atop my list of comedies, maybe not as quotable as a "Blazing Saddles," but still rich with possibilities.
 
DJ: Okay, do you mean atop your list of ALL comedies... or atop your list of Mel Brooks comedies?
 
Dustin: You know, I'm starting to be concerned about that intro... was it a little too "Golden Girls”? I don't want people to know I watched “The Golden Girls”.
 
DJ: Wait... “Golden Girls”? What...?
 
Dustin: Oops. Okay, ignoring that awkward moment, to answer your question, it's both - it's #3 on my Mel Brooks list, and probably in my Top Ten "Casual Comedy" list.
 
DJ: Are you saying Bea Arthur's my momma? Wait. Uh... Okay-- top three Mel Brooks, check.
 
Dustin: No, man... Estelle Getty.
 
DJ: Word! So, you're a Mel Brooks fan from way back?
 
Dustin: Pretty much... “Spaceballs” would be the first movie I knew to be a "Mel Brooks" movie, though. I guess it's possible I'd seen one before that.
 
DJ: I think that “Spaceballs” was my first encounter with him, but with it my dad started talking about “Blazing Saddles” and “Young Frankenstein”.
 
Dustin: And those are the two that rank higher for me.
 
DJ: And, honestly, the humor as much more kiddie in “Spaceballs”. I mean, even though “Blazing Saddles” had the best fart joke scene ever, it commented on racism.
 
Dustin: Well, “Spaceballs” was also a colossal poke at merchandising.
 
DJ: The merchandising stuff, yeah, it was kind of clever, along with the whole environmental "message" of the movie--the “Spaceballs” have used up all their clean air and need to steal it from a neighboring planet-- But it seems labored. Instead of being at all adult, “Spaceballs” was like, the lil' late eighties kid's gateway Mel Brooks movie... much like how marijuana is the gateway drug.
 
Dustin: Oh absolutely, because it made fun of stuff that we KNEW. And even then, I understood the brilliance of Rick Moranis. It was a lot of his almost slapstick-ish portrayal that made the movie work. He was a perfectly balanced bumbling straight man.
 
DJ: That and he had a HUGE helmet with a lil’ tie. But, okay, Dustin, there's something you said about making the movie "work"... Now, I LOVED it as a kid, l admit that. But after watching it again, years later, I feel that “Spaceballs”, like me, hasn’t aged well. Did you rewatch the movie and find yourself really laughing? Or were you enjoying it because you enjoyed it as a lil' Dustin?
 
Dustin: No, I still think there's a lot of enjoyable humor in there.
 
DJ: See, okay, and I admit I do fear I'm losing my sense of humor, but I found it to be mostly one broadly played, wink-wink groaner after another.
 
Dustin: I think the difference is, I laugh much less at the actual "jokes" now. The only "joke" that I still laugh at every time in recent viewings is whenever the Spaceballs’ tympani player is on screen. Instead I find the humor in the performances by the cast.   
 
DJ: Ah! Okay, you laugh at different things and we both agree Rick Moranis is the best in this movie... But Bill Pullman? Joan Rivers? I dunno.
 
Dustin: Oh, Bill Pullman's great!
 
DJ: He seems drunk and/or reading his lines off of cue cards! Bill Pullman's great?!? I'm shocked and appalled!
 
Dustin: Again with a good balance in his delivery. He's an anti-hero and a straight man at the same time.
 
DJ: He does have the more thankless role in these kinds of movies.
 
Dustin: Right, he tends to get overlooked in an ensemble cast like this because good ol' John Candy as Barf easily is the one you're going to be thinking of.
 
DJ: Yeah, he and Rick Moranis are the two everyone (well, me and, uh... my friend Mike Taylor from 5th grade, probably)... thinks of when thinking of this movie.
 
Dustin: Fuckin' A... and do you ever think of Daphne Zuniga?
 
DJ: Never. Actually, watching it, my girlfriend (who should get a medal of honor for sitting through it with me) thought she was the chick from “Growing Pains”. But, how's about my man Dick Van Patton representin'! I forgot he was in this!
 
Dustin: Figures you'd like Van Patton... he's one of the characters I think about the least.
 
DJ: I think it's just more my love of all things “Eight Is Enough”. But, for real, chief, I gotta be honest, I found this movie to be one groaner after another. Constant mugging, odd, lingering shots, and just... I dunno, unfunny "humor". It made me sad because I LOVED it so much as a kid!
 
Dustin: Get real! Even the "We're at 'now' now" scene?
 
DJ: I was going to make that the second piece of bread on my "critical sandwich": good, bad, good, you know? AND that "now" now scene, which was a lil' poke at the then burgeoning home video market where the characters watch a video of “Spaceballs” to figure out what's going on and end up watching the exact scene they're in is one of the scenes that still totally works for me.
 
Dustin: Again, that's Rick Moranis for you, although George Wyner is another actor deserving of much credit.
 
DJ: Was he Col. Sanderz (oh, the puns and witticisms)?
 
Dustin: Yep... and his role is another very interesting one.
 
DJ: "We can't stop! It's too dangerous!" Weird, I actually quoted that recently.
 
Dustin: He's kind of the comedy "yang" to the Rick Moranis "Yin". When one of them is playing the bit, the other automatically becomes the foil of the gag.
 
DJ: Yeah. It's very old school, kinda vaudeville stuff sometimes.
 
Dustin: Oh, absolutely!
 
DJ: I don't know that it ever is particularly "good" or "witty" vaudeville banter, though. Again, it seemed to me like they were trying REALLY hard, but I remember laughing my ass of at it back in the "day", so who do you believe? 10-year-old DJ or 42-year-old DJ?
 
Dustin: I'm beginning to think you're just cold and dead inside.
 
DJ: Oh, certainly! I'm totally cold and dead inside! That's beside the point.
 
Dustin: You need to start watching “Golden Girls” again. Get some homespun Betty White wisdom into your soul.
 
DJ: They did know how to do things back in St. Olaf, but keep your mind on “Spaceballs”, dude!
 
Dustin: Sorry, sorry.
 
DJ: So, John Candy as the "mog" (man/dog) with a waggy tail and eating a lot hijinks still tickles your funny bone? As do all the puns and banter and strained slapstick of this flick?
 
Dustin: The movie is still funny to me, but the jokes do start to wear -- although there are still many viable bits. But again, I say that I find less humor in the script, and more in the performances.
 
DJ: Right. Okay, so it's more your appreciation for the actors... some of whom... (cough) Mel Brooks (cough)… Were kinda starting to slip, but you still had a soft spot for 'em?
 
Dustin: Yes, we've yet to discuss Mel. I've never been a huge fan of Mel Brooks the actor.
 
DJ: God, I mean, this was, even if you like it, kinda the beginning of the end for him movie wise, you know? I mean, as a kid I liked this, but then that “Robin Hood: Men In Tights” and... oh, I puke in my mouth a little just saying it... “Dracula Dead & Loving It”... you ever seen his post-“Spaceballs” shit? Sad, man. Sad.
 
Dustin: Yeah, I can't think of anything he did after this that I really liked.
 
DJ: Now, don't get me wrong; I ain't done shit to be proud of, but to go from “Young Frankenstein” to “Dracula Dead & Loving It”, well, that's a tragedy on the scale of the Hindenberg. And “Spaceballs” seemed to be the beginning of that descent.
 
Dustin: Yes, yes... but I think we can safely agree that “Spaceballs” was much more on the "not exploding" end of that scale. Like, “Spaceballs” is much more Bea Arthur than Rue McClanahan.
 
DJ: See, now, everyone knows I'm Bea Arthur's number one fan, so I'm down with that analogy to a point.
 
Dustin: No way, Estelle Getty owned that show.
 
DJ: Okay! Again, why are you having such a hard time staying on track? Did you get “The Golden Girls” DVD??? DID YOU??
 
Dustin: Why in God's name would I do that? I'm not some kind of freaking weirdo!
 
DJ: Don't play innocent with me, Grovemiller, you sick, sick bastard. I think we should just let this “Golden Girls” obsession lie for now. Save it for your therapy.
 
Dustin: I didn't even know there was a “Golden Girls” DVD until your sick ass brought it up.
 
DJ: Yeah, right, like I'm the sicko obsessed with the “Golden Girls”. Sure.
 
Dustin: Stop trying to steer the conversation away from “Spaceballs”.
 
DJ: Me? Huh? Fine. So, you still dug “Spaceballs”, eh? Did you buy and not rent?
 
Dustin: Oh, I've owned it for years. Second DVD I ever bought.
 
DJ: Wow! You're an interesting fella. I'll give you that.
 
Dustin: It was on sale. I bought it a few days after I got "Batman"
 
DJ: You mean the Tim Burton “Batman”, not the sixties one we reviewed, right?
 
Dustin: Yeah, the Burton, but, anyway, the reason I wanted us to take a look at “Spaceballs” is because... there's a sequel coming, I hear.
 
DJ: Shit.
 
Dustin: (cackles maniacally)
 
DJ: Do you know the words to the “Spaceballs” "rock" song? "Spaceballs! WATCH OUT!" Good stuff. In a horrible, cringe inducing way.
 
Dustin: "All we know is what we need and all we do are dirty deeds, we're the SPACEBALLS."
 
DJ: NOOOOOO! You DO know the lyrics! Ahhhh!
 
Dustin: “SPACEBAAAAAALLLLLS!”
 
DJ: Man, we're all over the place.
 
Dustin: Might be sign that it's time to wrap it up. It's almost 11... Lifetime has some good  shows on at 11.
 
DJ: STOP WITH THE “GOLDEN GIRLS” SHIT, YOU SICKO!
 
Dustin: Did I say anything about "Golden Girls? No. You keep bringing it up.
 
DJ: Lies! Oh! I gotta mention one part that I always loved, and that my aforementioned g-friend laughed at...was the “Alien” parody. When the lil' alien pops out and starts singing...
 
Dustin: Oh yeah, and actually getting John Hurt to do it.
 
DJ: Yeah, with the lil' alien spats and shit?
 
Dustin: That was awesome, even if I didn't know who John Hurt was until later on.
 
DJ: She laughed for real and even rewound it. I had to giggle, too. That part's good. "Water my ass! Get this guy some pepto bismol!" Still good stuff, dude. Though, I have to say, as much as it saddens me, “Spaceballs” has lost it's magic for this old fan. I actually envy you for holding onto the joy.
 
Dustin: Well, I'm sorry to hear that... I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on liking this one.
 
DJ: I guess so. Let me say, though, that I'm not trying to be negative or something, I wanted to still like it... I mean, JM J Bullock's in it! But I just couldn't. So, what for next time? “The Golden Girls” on DVD?
 
Dustin: Again, you're going out of your way to bring it up.
 
DJ: Shit! You caught me for real that time...