All I Want For Christmas
 
Dear Santa,
 
Here is my holiday wish list that I know you have been waiting for. I know I just bought a house and can really use gift cards from Home Depot, but I think there are bigger issues to deal with than liner for our cabinets.
 
I have already lost hope of actually having hockey for this season, so the #1 thing on my list this year: How about having the NHL owners and players actually talk. Neither side has initiated any dialogue to the other about solving this lockout. So, I begin my campaigning for saving next season. We have already lost the NHL All-Star game and the Draft; lets try not to loose another year’s worth as well.
 
The second thing on this year’s list: Maurice Clarett’s head. I think the best way solve all of these crazy allegations is to just saw Maurice’s head off, wrap it up in one of those collectors boxes, and sell it on eBay. Hopefully, a scientist will win the auction and examine the head, to see just how his brain works.
 
And the third thing on my list: Courtside seats to an NBA game. After the debacle at the Pacers-Pistons game, in which players went into the stands to actually throw down with fans, how could you not want seats to this? I’ll let Ron Artest deck me, get my mug on Sportscenter, and then sue the hell out of him. But it does look like Artest got his wish of having time off during the season, because he was exhausted from promoting his rap album (another rant at another time). This has got to be one of the worst displays in the history of sports. And what is this trend of late with fans/players? We had the drunkard charge at base coach in Chicago. The Rangers bullpen tosses a chair in the stands at Oakland and Tie Domi goes after a fan from the penalty box -- all in the last few years. Glad the owners of these teams want to build new stadiums to put the fans closer to the game and players.
 
Some honorable mention gifts I would gladly accept:
 
- A competitive Ohio State basketball team -- So far, they have played well, albeit against Delaware and Towson State. Let’s play some average opponents and see where new coach Thad Matta can take them.
 
- A BCS mess -- As of this writing, I’m getting this wish: There are five undefeated teams. Three are considered title contenders, and like last year, one of those teams will not be allowed to play for the title. At this point, it’s Auburn. Utah, who is undefeated, is going to go to a BCS game as a non-major-conference team, and hose a monster like Texas or Georgia. And with conference winners like Boston College and possibly Virginia or Virginia Tech going, I’m sure the television ratings will go thru the roof. Look for the lesser bowls to generate great match-ups and possibly better ratings.
 
- A Pittsburgh meltdown, an offense for the Browns, a playoff birth for the Lions, and a Super Bowl Champion in Indianapolis.
 
- Steve Spurrier to fail at South Carolina.
 
- All three Florida teams to not make a BCS bowl.
 
- Carlos Beltran to sign with Cubs.
 
- The Yankees to forget about Beltran and sign some pitching.
 
- Randy Johnson to get traded.
 
- The former-Expos not to be called the Washington Nationals.
 
- The Cavaliers not to fall on their faces and get a much anticipated playoff birth.
 
Happy holidays! Eggnog is in the fridge and Liza made you some peanut butter cup cookies!

~~~~~

Sports enthusiast Cousy Kane is a man of many wishes -- but how many of them could actually come true?