DJ: Okay, are you two ready to blow people's minds by spoiling Annie Hall?

Shannon: Spoiling a 1977 movie? Sure!

Dustin: My mind came pre-blown.

Shannon: Hm. What's left in it? Can you put some of the pieces back so we can use 'em?

DJ: Dustin's head is filled with cotton candy and rainbows.

Dustin: I like rainbows.

Shannon: Ooh, wainbowz. Pretty.

DJ: Dustin, want to clear your throat and start this in your official way?

Dustin: Yeah, let's kick this pig so's I can go play Warcraft... yep… Ahem! Hey hey! Welcome to another edition of “Spoiler Warning” -- just like Woody Allen comedies, we keep coming even though nobody wants them!

DJ: Somebody wants his flicks; he makes one a year for the love of something or other.

Dustin: Sorry, that was me preemptively not knowing what to say about this movie.

Shannon: Annie Hall made me remember why I used to like Woody Allen.

DJ: Yes! I'm not a huge fan of his overall, but this movie is just really entertaining.

Shannon: So, how 'bout a synopsis? Let's see... a depressive, judgmental elitist chooses partners for mostly immature reasons and watches his relationships disintegrate through the filter of sarcasm. Oh, and Annie Hall herself is completely endearing.

DJ: It’s interesting how neurotic New York former comedian Woody Allen plays Neurotic New York comedian Alvy Singer and how Annie Hall is a flighty, free-spirited wannabe actress played by (maybe) flighty, free-spirited actress Diane Keaton in her breakout role.

Dustin: (See, what's going on right now is that D.J. and Shannon are talking about a movie that really, really drove me nuts. I think I'd rather talk to you readers.)

Shannon: Breakout role though? What about Looking for Mr. Goodbar?

DJ: I think that Annie Hall came first? Maybe? And it’s the one that got ladies wearing ties in the 70s.

Shannon: And in the 80s if you want to count me. So is this review two against one?

DJ: Two and a half if you count my love of burritos.

Dustin: Oh, it was okay... I think I've had a really bad run of Woody Allen movies as of late. I've seen a bunch of them with high hopes, and have been routinely disappointed.

DJ: I feel the same way about most of his work... except for this flick! So entertaining.

Shannon: Annie Hall didn't restore your faith in Mr. Allen, Dustin?

Dustin: I might have gone into this being a little biased, although frankly, I'm just not sure if I'm the Woody Allen type. I think I’m supposed to be, but at the end of the day, I'm just not.

DJ: Usually, I feel the same way. Like, I SHOULD think this guy is funnier.

Shannon: Alvy is a pretty unsympathetic character, though, I'll give you that.

Dustin: (I could've used beer while watching this movie. I could use a beer now, really.)

Shannon: Okay, Mr. Dustin, is there anything you liked about this movie?

Dustin: Well, the acting was superb. I can't fault any of the players in any way, because it's got to be really damn hard to be able to pull off that level of nuanced insanity and discomfort.

Shannon: Except for the sex scenes.

DJ: If there's a weak link acting-wise, well, it's Woody.

Shannon: Especially in the sex scenes.

Dustin: (Hmmm. I think Diane Keaton felt more real in this than in Parenthood. Wait, someone just said "sex scene," I should pay attention.)

DJ: Although, I guess Woody is just Woody. So, has anyone ever tried the red light sex technique? That weirded me out.

Dustin: I don't think I related much to the sex scenes, either.

Shannon: Because they sucked.

DJ: No red lightbulbs?

Shannon: Even Woody's direct address of the audience was more believable than the sex scenes.

DJ: I enjoyed that. The scene in the movie theatre line is classic. It's like he's a precursor to Ferris Bueller and Zack Morris!

Dustin: (Was there a sex scene in Parenthood? No, I think Steve Martin only did that in L.A. Story. Hmmm, I should suggest doing L.A. Story at some point; I think I relate to Steve Martin's work a lot more than Woody Allen's.)

DJ: Of course, Zack had the "time out" technique that froze everyone else, but that's neither here nor there.

Dustin: Screech has a sex tape, you know.

DJ: I know, but I wish I didn't.

Dustin: I don't think Zack is in that.

DJ: Slater might be, though.

Dustin: Sorry, what were we talking about?

DJ: Annie Hall! I think Shannon's ignoring us due to the Saved by the Bell talk. My bad. So, back to Annie Hall...

Dustin: People won Academy Awards for it?

Shannon: Ahem, what I liked about the movie, besides Diane Keaton, was that it's simultaneously about exposure (e.g., subtitles revealing what the characters are really thinking) and obscuration (e.g., Alvy's interpretation of events mixed with a little fantasy).

DJ: I'm a huge fan of the "thinking subtitles.”

Dustin: The "thinking subtitle" jokes were really good.

DJ: And you make an excellent point, Shannon. Sometimes everything is through Alvy's eyes, so we have to trust him on it...

Dustin: (I wonder how I could make a "thinking subtitle” joke in this thing. I don't think I can pull that off.)

DJ: ... but in others, there's no hiding.

Shannon: Exactly, D.J., and I think the audience is supposed to be a bit suspicious of his retelling. Just like Rob and Annie are when they're observing his childhood flashbacks.

Dustin: Like he's skewing the narrative to favor him?

DJ: I don't think so, Dustin, because he's not really favored here. He doesn't come across like a hero or anything.

Dustin: Well, I could make a case for "anti-hero."

Shannon: He also asks himself "why did I do that?" as he's having his flashbacks. He's self-consciously judging himself as he judges other people.

DJ: Yeah, he's an egomaniac one minute, and completely self-deprecating the next.

Shannon: "Self-conscious" is probably the word du jour here. Is the self-deprecation supposed to make us like him, though?

DJ: Maybe. A lot of people use self-deprecation as a way of fishing for compliments. I'm not naming names here.

Dustin: (I'm pretty sure that was directed at me. Well, don’t I just suck?)

Shannon: My dog wants to start typing.

DJ: Our first canine contributor.

Shannon: She wants to help make this a very special editing experience.

Dustin: (How on earth did I start thinking about Steve Martin sex scenes back there?)

DJ: So, Dustin, why didn't you like the movie? Just not amusing to you?

Dustin: (I think I was too ADD.)

Dustin: I think that maybe I'm too ADD?

DJ: This movie is very, very ADD, though -- the way it switches storytelling devices -- it's even animated at one point!

Dustin: Woody Allen is actually responsible for the "MTV Generation" -- wasn't music videos... noooo... it was Annie Hall.

DJ: What does your dog think about that, Shannon?

Shannon: She thinks she will eat the space bar apparently.

DJ: You shouldn't buy the keyboards with the ham keys. Keys made of ham are an invitation for trouble.

Shannon: Um, yes, well, she thinks crystal meth is responsible for the MTV generation.

Dustin: (Why is he always talking about ham? And why is she always talking about meth?)

DJ: I think the MTV generation was after Annie Hall and before crystal meth, though. Unrelatedly, Dustin, do you wish there'd been a talking dog in Annie Hall?

Dustin: Well, it might've added a certain level of neurotic entertainment. The dog would be in therapy as well, of course.

Dustin: (Wait... WASN'T there a talking dog at one point? Or was that Carol Kane?)

DJ: Talking dog… I can make a mean spirited Shelly Duvall comment here, but I won’t. Wait -- I just did.

Dustin: (Damn, that was funnier.)

DJ: But the split screen therapy scene was a delight! I'm not the only one here who thinks that am I? C'mon! Ham!

Shannon: I loved the split screen.

DJ: Hooray! Dustin, did it amuse you?

Dustin: (Damn it to hell, why do they keep directly asking me questions?)

Dustin: Well, okay -- let me just encapsulate everything that I've ever thought about this film in about one really long sentence…

DJ: He loves long sentences.

Shannon: Bathroom break.

DJ: I just keep a bedpan nearby when I do these.

Shannon: I'll have a sandwich too, then. Lemme know when he's finished.

DJ: Wait... don't eat a sandwich while going to the bathroom.

Shannon: I'm a multi-tasker.

DJ: That's just... that's just not sanitary.

Dustin: … It gets points for the clever acting, for the excellent use of so many different editing devices to reflect the story as being told by a neurotic, mildly shattered kind of physchosis…

DJ: I'm liking his sentence so far.

Shannon: Mildly shattered.

Dustin: … but the "big picture" writing wasn't that great, and when coupled with the engaging, rapid use of such jarring editing techniques, it completely loses focus except in the love scenes which are, for lack of a better word, dull, although I suppose that was rather the point…

DJ: I just spilled my bedpan.

Shannon: Yuck. Bad, bad boy!

DJ: Me or the dog?

Dustin: … though, all in all, this thing felt like a punch line that was dragged out for 134 minutes, but I realize that's probably just me.

Shannon: I guess it was the point. Wow. So, Dustin, did you like Allen's Sleeper?

Dustin: (I wonder how Kevin Smith would've made this film. Ha, I thought that just for the obligatory reference.)

Dustin: Didn't see that one.

Shannon: It has more... gags, I guess. I was thinking it might be less like a long drawn out punch line for you.

Dustin: Hey, don't mind me... I'm just the easily distracted guy with no patience.

DJ: Okay! Dustin doesn't like it! Shannon and I like it!

Shannon: And that's a wrap.

Dustin: (Thank God.)

DJ: Kudos from two out of three footnote reviewers ain't bad.

Shannon: Because it's all about our personal opinions anyway.

Dustin: I approve of whatever just happened.

DJ: Tune in next week for more “Spoiler Warning” at the footnote!