Upon the seventh day, God was resting upon His holy laurels and found that He was most bored up upon high. And so God created Uno, and He saw that it was good.

But lo and behold the Lord hath no one with which to play said game and so He called to His first and only son. “Jeezy,” said the Lord, for He hath many clever nicknames for His first and only son, “get your tookus” (for God so enjoyed the slang of the urban youth) “up here and play Uno with me.” And Jesus did give pause and say unto God, “Are you serious? I’m down here preaching to the masses and turning water unto wine and shit! Go play with the angels!” And being that the angels were well and truly behind in the world of baseball and not worth playing, God tenderly looked upon His human son and smote him, mightily.

And so did the man Jesus die upon the cross and unto heaven he arose and spoke to the Lord Upon High. “You douche,” said Jesus, speaking like the songs of the birds, “I was working on something down there!” But being as his father was the High and the Mighty, he sat upon a cloud and preparest himself to play that which is the holiest of games, Uno. And lo and behold God did reach down from upon His throne and dealest His cherished son seven hold cards, representing the seven days of the divine week and also being a convenient number for two-plus players. The holiest of games began upon a red four and the Holiest of Sons, being to the left (and also to the right) of the dealer (being his father, the big G) was allowed to place the first of the holy cards.

With his holy hands, the Son of God did place upon the red four a red reverse. “Ha!” laughed the Lord mightily, for truly this was funny. “There are only two of us! The reverse is of no consequence to me!” Upon this red reverse did his Holiness lay a red two.

“I still used up a card, didn’t I?” said the Son, with much mirth. And upon his fathers holiest of twos he placed a wild draw four and loudly did he proclaim, “The color shall be green!” And upon this wild card there rose a great flame, incinerating the card to bits.

“Nanny nanny boo boo,” said the Lord, with great presence, “you can’t use one of those unless you have no reds, no twos, and no regular wild cards. The Holy Ghost says you have a red five.” And the Lord’s son did giggle at the obscure yet to be invented Star Wars reference and then he didst protest most vehemently.

“Oi! Now see here!” (for the Son didst use a terrible British accent just for funsies at times), “a.) aren’t I the Holy Ghost, seeing as how you smote me? And b.) if I’m not, he can’t play unless you deal him in, and, furthermore, he CAN’T look at my cards.” And then the Son didst play his red five hoping that his father wouldn’t make him draw two cards for his misdeed. The Father, however, being all-knowing and all-seeing didst of course make his son draw two. And then upon the red five he didst play a wild draw four and declarest the color to be yellow.

Vehemently didst the son again object, citing the same rules as did his father mention to him just prior.

And to this now highly repetitious vehement objection did the Lord, in all His wisdom reply, “I’m God. Deal with it.”

And so shall we all, in His name, deal with it. Amen.