General Memorandum
from: Raul, Deputy Director
to: Staff, Santa Co. South Pole Distribution Complex

My fellow Penguins:

There have been some concerns regarding likely changes in the coming years for all us here at Santa Claus, LLC. While our director Leon has been away getting a briefing from the Big Guy, I have been authorized to let you know what is going on.

The China situation has hit us all hard. Since the North Pole Workshop and affiliated toy factories closed down decades ago, we have had quality control issues from time to time, but never this serious. However, some elder elves have been sent to Beijing and Shanghai to ensure we can make our warehousing quotas for the 24th. Jungle sprites from Vietnam have been helping take up the slack, and it looks like we are going to weather this storm.

But on the subject of elves, it has been observed that several executive-level members of the North Pole staff have been looking around the South Pole facilities. In light of the economic problems of the United States -- our No. 1 customer base -- and general worldwide uncertainty, it has been rumored that the elves would pull rank and replace us or that there would be facility closings -- either way leaving us unemployed and back out on the pack ice.

On the contrary, my fellow penguins, we are looking at future expansion of the South Pole Complex. How can this be? Two words, noble seabirds: global warming.

As you are well aware, climate change has been most dramatic at the North Pole since there is no underlying land mass. Granted, Santa Co. HQ is not (nor has ever likely been) at the geographic or magnetic pole, but the classified location -- even if it moves between potential locations in Lappland, Inuit Nations, Greenland or Canada -- is still going to be too exposed to future shipping traffic, especially in summer.

Add to this that the Russian Republic -- a land which we have never been on good terms with since Lenin tore up our treaties with the Tsars (Putin won't even consider coming to the table) -- has made a potentially legal claim for most Arctic Circle territory, including the pole itself. Granted, some of these claims will be disallowed, but that means that SOMEONE will end up with claim to those waters and enforcing their shore claims vigorously. Putting a floating HQ in international waters up there is just inviting disaster on unpredictable Northern Seas.

That leaves the SPDC on land that is by treaty sovereign to nobody but us. And if glacial melting continues, we can move facilities inland. Don't think the elves will try to bully their way around here, either. The ones who don't leave the cold for Disney or animation houses in Asia will find that thanks to various endangered species laws and treaties, WE can pull rank here.

Santa is totally on board with this, feathered fellows. He has even helped with the public relations push that started through Hollywood a couple of years ago. (That reminds me, the Dom Perignon shipment to Savion Glover better not be late again this year! And, just so everyone knows, Al Gore got a kick out of the ManBearPig plush toy -- you're not in trouble after all, Pablo.) Remember, regardless of whether the humans are able to adapt to global climate shifts, we are totally on top of it (when you hold the globe the right way!).

Feliz Navidad, and let's get to work.