So today, I basically have no desire to talk to you about work. In fact, I basically have no desire to be at work. Now I know there are only a handful of people who LOVE work. Half of them make a shit ton of money, and the other half are probably on Quaaludes and are kindergarten teachers.

Nevertheless, I do like my job. I like most of the people here, we joke around and have a good time, and I’m pretty good at what I do. But this week, I could be in the running for worst employee ever. I know I should accomplish things, but I don’t want to. I’ll be taking half of Thursday and all of Friday off, in addition to next Monday and Tuesday, because my best friend will be in town. The week after, I’ll be taking Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday off to housetrain the puppy that we’ll be getting. There are a lot of good employees who take that as an opportunity to work extra hard, get things done, have a clean slate for the time they return, etc. Well, here’s what I’ve noticed, and this may just be the apathy in me talking this week, your “slate” is never clean when you come back. At least for me, people take my absence as an excuse to pile things on my desk so they don’t have to do them. I’ve considered barbed wire, but the liability issues ruin all my fun. (Side note: I need a full time lawyer, just in case my antics ever go awry…)

I know that sounds negative, but the sad thing is it’s not; I just don’t care this week. I’d be contented to come in to work every day, exchange pleasantries (or not), check my forums, check my LiveJournal, check my email, bid everyone a fond adieu, and head home for a nap and a rousing game of “Raving Rabbids II” on the Wii.

Even my housework is taking an extended period of time. For Christmas, we got new knives, new pots and pans, some new mugs, and new Tupperware. This of course necessitates getting rid of some of the old stuff. So last night, I attempted to do just that. The problem? I did it slowly, while sitting on a stool and staring off into space. As a common courtesy, I would ask the husband if we still needed things before getting rid of them. He wasn’t too into this project either, so the conversation went something like this:

Me: Do we need this?

Arthur: What is it?

Me: Well, if you don’t know what it is, then I guess we don’t need it.

Arthur: I didn’t know it was under there. If I knew what it was, I might use it.

Me: It’s a pot for making jelly and preserves and stuff. See, it’s got the little slots to hold the jars.

Arthur: Oh.

Me: So we don’t need it, right?

Arthur: Well, we might.

Me: You’re never going to make jelly!

Arthur: But I might make jelly. Since we have it, I might make jelly.

Me: *Deep sigh* Alright, well, how about this: I’ll get rid of it now, and if you ever decide you want to make jelly, I’ll buy you a newer fancier one.

…

Sometime later…

…

Arthur: What’s this on the table?

Me: Oh, I boxed up some of our extra Ball Mason jars. We can use them when we have a bigger kitchen.

Arthur: But for what? Drinking? We have a bunch for drinking already.

Me: Well, yeah, for drinking, or for putting soups or gravies in. It’s easier than Tupperware.

Arthur: But what if you make gravy now?

Me: We have some out already.

Arthur: So will you make more gravy than those can handle when we have more room?

Me: I don’t know; we can use them for the jellies you will undoubtedly make in your newer, bigger jelly making pot thing.

And trust me, this is how it went all night. And yes, I do speak with colons and semicolons. And yes again, I could go on with a review of this babble. This is why you shouldn’t mix apathy and opinions. Normally they are mutually exclusive, but with us, we have enough opinions to go around, even during the hard, apathetic times. Also, I’d be happy to give you more examples, but right now I’m busy emailing said husband asking him to send me a good morning email because I’m too lazy to send him one. Also, honestly, I can’t go into any more detail because, well, I’ve lost interest…