“You have the right to be remain silent... forever.”

If you’re not scared of the cops already, booyah! Have we got a movie for you! If you’ve been racially profiled, harassed, or just had your ass beat by some men in blue then Maniac Cop might bore the hell out of you. Police brutality is a terrifying reality. Maniac Cop is a so-so movie trying to be terrifying.

When Larry Cohen wrote this script he made sure to follow the battle-tested horror movie formula. That formula is to take something from our daily lives that has inherit danger and extract all the fear out of it you can. Add some cheesy taglines, hint at a sequel, and you have yourself a series of winners. If you’re lucky someone will say, “They did for ____ what Jaws did for sharks.”

Maniac Cop’s choice of a villain is an enraged, half-dead policeman. It opens with a white women walking home alone in a dark alley. A pair of menacing, hooligan minorities pop out of the shadows. Our ingrained prejudices and frequent movie going lead us to believe that what we’ll see next is these two men trying to rob, rape, or kill her. Well, it seems we are right, but she fights, escapes, and runs to a creepy, silent cop for help. Of course we know what will happen next: the cop will shoot the bad guys, and he’ll say something clever and succinct.

Not this time!

The cop grabs and choke-slams her like the Undertaker did to Mick Foley in “Hell in a Cell.” When Detective Frank McCrae sees the lady’s body he somberly says, “You must have been so afraid, Cassie. Then you saw a cop…”

The fear generated in this movie is based on the assumption that we trust the police force. And if our trust were to be broken by an extremely violent, vindictive officer, we’d be shocked and traumatized. But for many people, a cop abusing his authority happens far too often right in their neighborhood. For people who see and are victim to police brutality, a seemingly bulletproof cop gone crazy on a murderous rampage is sadly as unsurprising as a coyote getting his fangs on a flock of sheep.

I refer to people like Rodney King who was brutalized by several officers after getting out of his car. If Martin Lee Anderson’s family saw this movie, they wouldn’t be the least bit afraid, they’d only be reminded of their tragedy. Their 14-year-old loved one died under extremely suspicious conditions at a Boot Camp after stealing a car. Real-life maniac cops were caught on video beating him senselessly.

I know, or at least I hope, that the abusive, spiteful policemen and women are the minority. But in a number of communities there is a definite lack of trust and respect towards those doing the serving and protecting. When the movie’s turning point is when the citizens no longer know who to trust, and chaos is erupting, Robert Davis, who was beaten by two officers in New Orleans, would probably shout, “So what?” at the screen. He probably doesn’t trust the po-po no more. Any victim of excessive force, false arrest, intimidation, or extrajudicial punishment doesn’t trust them either. And if they took Maniac Cop, Maniac Cop 2, or Maniac Cop 3: Badge of Silence off the shelf, they might end up they rented something else.

So if the main scare tactic is rendered useless, we are left to be entertained by other elements. Maniac Cop does have a few names you might recognize. Richard Roundtree (I’m talking about SHAFT!) plays the commissioner. Bruce Campbell (Evil Dead, episodes of Xena, bit parts in the Spider-Man movies) plays the adulterer/scapegoat. And Robert Z’Dar plays the disfigured, thought to be dead, murdering cop named Matt Cordell. Robert Z’Dar! What do you mean you never heard of him? Haven’t you seen Pocket Ninjas, Zombiegeddon, or The Thief and The Stripper?

Or maybe you're into blatant Psycho rip-offs. There's a scene when blood circles a prison shower drain a la Psycho, trying to connect a classic film with a craptastic one. How many times do we have to see that?

There’s also some pretty bad dialogue too, if you like that sort of thing.

“Gina, this isn’t about romance, it’s about murder!”

or

“Take a look at the size of those hematomas.”

So this wasn’t put together by a craftsman, sure. But I don’t think the filmmakers realized that a zombie-like version of a bad cop isn’t anywhere near as terrible as the real thing sometimes. If they want to really scare people, then Maniac Cop 4 should be just a string of home videos of police officers beating the shit out of people. I think Robert Z’Dar is probably free.