From: Corporate Drone #1
Sent: Wednesday, April 25, 2007 11:15 AM
To: Corporate Drone #2
Subject: New Management Processes

I’ve decided to fire everyone in my department with brown hair and hire monkeys wearing suits to do their jobs. I feel it will add some fun and joviality to our office while allowing me to pay them minimum wage. Our other employees will take on the brunt of the work, although the monkeys should be able to do filing and financial work.

From: Corporate Drone #2
Sent: Wednesday, April 25, 2007 11:30 AM
To: Corporate Drone #1
Subject: Re: New Management Processes

Hmmm... you should work on that one and come back to me later. We'll have a meeting to set the time to send the email for the conference call that will decide when to meet about when you should come back later and work on that one. Don't forget to get everything signed in triplicate and get the “OK” from the janitor's sister's boss’s cousin.

From: Corporate Drone #1
Sent: Wednesday, April 25, 2007 11:42 AM
To: Corporate Drone #2
Subject: Re: Re: New Management Processes

Uh yeah, you didn’t have a cover sheet on your ridiculously long list of corporate red tape. Did ya’ get the memo about having a cover sheet on all your ridiculously lost lists of corporate red tape? I’ll go ahead and send you that memo. Here at Zydeco ® we steal dialogue from other places, provided it’s been approved by in house counsel, and we can get away with it.

From: Corporate Drone #2
Sent: Wednesday, April 25, 2007 11:48 AM
To: Corporate Drone #1
Subject: Re: Re: Re: New Management Processes

Bummer. I didn't get the memo. I'll need to send you an email detailing the corporate mumbo-jumbo that I spouted, but this time I have to CC our manager and in house counsel to make sure that my contract language is legit. It’s not, and it doesn't matter because she won't look at this anyway. Then I need to make sure that the memo you send me is indexed correctly and spontaneously create a 50 man task force to track down a half a page email that was, in fact, indexed properly, but no one bothered to believe or check before the email was sent into the vast and endless morass of cyberspace. Afterwards, I think we will all pat ourselves on the back and make the low man on the totem pole take us all out for beers and steaks.

From: Corporate Drone #1
Sent: Wednesday, April 25, 2007 11:51 AM
To: Corporate Drone #2
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: New Management Processes

Oh, I’m sending it to them both for their review, then they’ll need to create a 20 page presentation with graphs highlighting a possible workflow for how we could operate under the parameters that you’ve provided. Then we’ll change the whole thing and make a report to corporate about how it may seem that we haven’t reached our goal, but we actually have in stating the reasons why we haven’t. It’s called “process improvement,” you see.

From: Corporate Drone #2
Sent: Wednesday, April 25, 2007 12:15 PM
To: Corporate Drone #1
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: New Management Processes

I love it. Have the monkeys draw up a diagram. And put lots of color in it. The execs like color. I’m going for an overpriced burger on the company credit card. Care to join me? We’ll take the afternoon off and look at yachts. Call me on my cell if you can come. Then page my assistant and tell her to do our work for us.