When I was a kid, my mom had a bumper sticker on her old Chevy Malibu that I can still remember: it was a sort of art-deco picture of a rainbow arching over the bridge of a violin, and underneath it said “WOSU Classical 89.7.”

She got it for sending the local classical station a pledge every year. I remember how happy and proud that sticker made me, because it said that we were special. Even at age four, I liked being a snob.

Upon reflection in my older years, I realize that, to some extent, everyone likes being a snob. And we all like to express it using bumper stickers. Think about it -- whether it’s subtle or not-so-subtle, bumper stickers all ultimately say to the driver tailing along behind you: “I am special, so screw you.”

The “My kid is…” stickers are the most flagrant example of this phenomenon, inciting such smartass response stickers as “My kid beat up your honor student.” But the less in-your-face stickers ultimately deliver the same message: “My boss is a Jewish carpenter” has the subtext “And if yours isn’t, you’re a dirty heathen.” “Celebrate Diversity” subtext: “You racist bastard.” “If you’re not completely appalled, you aren’t paying attention” makes being a pissy, dissatisfied politick somehow superior to being content with life.

“Baby on Board.” “Retired.” “Golf is life -- the rest is just details.” All of these proclaim the uniqueness of the owner inside, with an implied “Nya nya nya” (thumbs stuck in the ears optional). Just think how weird it would be to see a bumper sticker that complimented the other driver for a change: “Nice ride, man” would make you read it twice, wouldn’t it?

Austin is a mecca for interesting bumper stickers. In a land where fervent old hippies like Willie Nelson live alongside nouveau riche tech kings like Michael Dell and movie stars like Matthew McConaughey, it shouldn’t be unexpected that a sort of nose-thumbing ideological war is played out on the bumpers of the city’s beat-up old station wagons and shiny new Hummers. I’ve seen “Bush is a punk ass chimp” stickers, “Don’t blame me – I voted for the other guy” stickers, and “Kirk and Spock 2008!” stickers alongside the traditional “Bush / Cheney” stickers in all their red, white and blue glory.

But you know what? That’s okay by me. I’d rather witness the city’s denizens duking it out with a playful smirk and a hint of intellectual creativity than I would watch a degrading mud-slinging debate on television. It’s highly entertaining, occasionally keeps me awake during my morning commute, and in the end, it doesn’t hurt anybody.

After all, life’s too long to take it seriously all of the time. Sometimes you gotta sit back and enjoy the ride -- leaving the proclamations of your own unique superiority where they should rightly be: on the rear of your car, trailing behind you.