| As we all know, all any mostly-straight woman wants, regardless of professional success, monetary status, or physical prowess, is a guy to love. Right, ladies? Right…? Hm. Uh, okay, well, most of you straight women wouldn’t mind having a fella, anyway. Hypothetically. So, while there are numerous tomes on what we guys really want and look for in a relationship and countless magazine articles on the subject, they're more often than not written by women! What do women know about guys and what we want? If you knew, there would be no need for these articles! This type of thinking leads to confusion; ladies trying to snag a guy by means relayed to them by an equally Y-chromosome challenged person. To save everyone some trouble, I'm going to cut out the middle woman and just lay it all out for you relationship-starved (or maybe just relationship-curious if you can make the time) females looking the right guy... or close enough.
The first and most important step to getting a guy interested in you is to simply show interest in him! I'm not saying you have to throw yourself at every potential suitor (though that'd make things even easier for all involved), but maybe start up a conversation. Whatever you do, don't wait for him to approach you if you’re interested at all. Odds are, he's been rejected enough or just has the latent Y-chromosomal fear of rejection 99% of the non-movie star male population has and more than likely is incapable of even approaching you, let alone asking you out. So give him a break and say "Hi."
Once you've used this sure-fire technique to snag a fella, you're well on your way to that committed relationship you've been told to dream about supposedly since you were a little girl playing "house" (when we boys were running around outside pretending to kill each other). Seriously. For most guys, that's all it'll take initially. To keep things going, maybe give him a kiss or hold his hand. He'll be yours in no time. When the relationship heats up, try to initiate love making once in a while. (Oh, it' s not so gross, girls! At least nothing a little booze can't help!) Also remember that, even though you're together, he's probably still afraid it's all a hoax and he's on his way to rejection, so try to succumb to his modest sexual advances occasionally. It'll mean the world to him and only take up a few minutes of your time.
To keep this passion going as the relationship wears on and on, try to remember that you were once --for whatever reason -- at least moderately attracted to your man, or you wouldn't have approached him in the first place. A little way to remind him of this is to convincingly tell him things like he's "attractive." When asked, say he's better looking than Hugh Jackman. It's an obvious lie, to be sure, but the effort alone will brighten his day. If you can't say that with a straight face, simply say Hugh Jackman isn't your type. (Think of him with his silly Wolverine hairdo do if that helps.)
With the physical aspect of the relationship sound, make sure not to ignore his emotional needs. Yes, despite popular belief, guys have emotions. Only theirs are much simpler than yours. A male's emotional state more often than not falls into two easily discernable categories: "happy" and "sad." One way to keep him happy is to attempt feigning a passing interest in his interests once in a while. Much as you'd like him to have an opinion on which throw pillows go with the couch, he'd be delighted if you opinionated on why The Empire Strikes Back is better than Return of the Jedi. While you’re at it, act like you hate the Ewoks even though you really think they're cute and cuddly (as does he deep down inside, but that's not the point). If you have no idea what the preceding two sentences are about, do some research. It'll make his entire week.
All the other stuff you've been told by various magazines to spend hours and dollars on: hairstyles, cooking recipes, implants, makeup, disgusting bacteria injections, and fat transplants from one part of the body to another? Not really necessary. Shocking, I know. Truth is, a little flattery and initiative plus occasionally watching what amounts to loud, obnoxious kids' movies with him free of complaint are basically all every guy needs to be happy with you. Seriously. And your hair looks fine, and your ass isn't too big. Or small. Whichever you're worried about at the moment. Stop worrying about that stuff only you worry about if you have a half way decent guy (and if your guy does worry about that crap, dump his ass because there are plenty who suck far, far less).
Remember: Unlike you, there is absolutely no mystery to him. He is simple and only needs to be dealt with thusly. He's most likely shocked you hang out with him at all, let alone let him touch your "naughty bits." Use that knowledge plus the occasional white lie about how he's not a dork (or that his dorkiness is "cute") and relax. It's amazingly easy to find and keep yourself that lifelong relationship you've always thought you should really, really want after you’ve gotten a good career and all that so get to it! … After all the other stuff you want to do. Whenever you feel like settling down or whatever. If you want. No big deal. He’ll just be hanging out, living like a helpless child, and watching dumb movies until you approach him, anyway, so there's no rush.
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