March 6, 2006

Quick little update on the meteorological front...

I got the low down on how storms are actually man-made by the government from an inside source I know codenamed “Mack.” This troubling weather-making process was apparently developed in a top-secret testing ground codenamed "Ohio” (phonetically Japanese for “Hello,” but that’s neither here nor there). According to this insider, first they have to "chop it up" (what “it” is remains a mystery). For emphasis he demonstrated this with a karate-chop motion using both hands. Then the ever present and vague they "swirl it around and push it up,” just before they “make fire.” Finally, they (again) "fill it with sprinkles and throw it in the sky!”

At revealing this last bit, my enigmatic (and short) source ran down the hall with no pants on looking for his pet stuffed monkey codenamed “Potted.” Who’d have thought that a three-year-old would know so much about governmental weather experiments? All the while sans pants no less.

Tadd Branum just said 'the Sheriff is near!'

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